The question of motherhood, for me, was something I didn’t lend much credence to when I was in high school and college. While I thought my own mother had done a great job with me and my brother, I had babysat and nannied so much during my teen years that I had finally decided, once and for all, that I was NOT interested in such things. I would go to art college, become famous and have a fabulous career, and babies and motherhood were things I could do without.
Fast forward to today, at age 37, where I sit at my desk and try to look busy while secretly surfing the net for baby bedding and furniture (don’t tell my boss!). I now understand, in full detail, the meaning of “biological clock”. By the time I was 27, I had done a 180 about motherhood. I entered into my first marriage full of hope, wanting the picket fence and children and all that stuff. Of course, calling it my “first marriage” gives away the ending, right? Not quite…it turned out to be the beginning for me. Lessons were learned, and I moved on….
Now, I am married to the man of my dreams (cornball, I know, but so true!) and we are planning for a baby. I’ve never been so obsessed with anything in my life! And so sublimely happy, thinking about being called “Mommy”. *sigh*
Of course, the family is excited as well. This will be my parents’ first grandchild—I see a lot of “spoiled rotten” ahead! Since my husband is from a big Italian family, there is no shortage of well-wishers and hopefuls on that side as well. Everyone wants a girl—it would be the first girl grandchild on my husband’s side of the family in many, many years. My father-in-law, such a dear man, I believe is happy about it as well. But, he has opinions, like most people do, about today’s world and the dangers of raising children. He asked me, “Why would you want to raise a child in today’s times?”
Hmmm. An interesting question, I thought. Then I thought, “How do I answer this without inferring that his concerns are immaterial?” And it just popped out of me:
“What if my child is the one that will make a difference?”
Well, he couldn’t say too much to that. That one question embodied all the hopes I had for the future. Nothing can take that away.
Here is my take on the situation: Yes, there are people out there who have kids and pay no attention to them and don’t take any care to raise them to be decent human beings. And yes, there are people out there who will walk all over others, maybe even my future child, on their way to their big, bright future. But apathy is not the answer to what some people may think is a “deteriorating society”, and deciding not to have children simply because there is “bad” in the world is, to me, apathy. I think the answer is to have your children, love them, and raise them to be the best people they can be, because they are the ones who can make the future a wonderful place.
There is still so much good in the world; we just have to see it…and then BE it.
~Michelle